I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
