Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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