He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
