Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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