apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
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