I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
