Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
They took my balls.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
