maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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