I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize