You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
