not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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