If that was your dad, he is hot
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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