my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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