Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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