I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
40s are totally the cure
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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