Kiss
Puke
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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