Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
