There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
