Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
