There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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