Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
