I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
