She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Couch. On fire.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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