If i could tip my vagina, i would.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
