dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize