I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
