K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
