I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she peed on how many people?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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