Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Small penises have feelings too.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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