Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
