What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
