The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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