Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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