This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
