saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My life is pants optional.
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