Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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