I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Enjoy the penises
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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