By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
