tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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