What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
My balls are so social today.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
