WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
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