Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
