I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I have aggressive nipples.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
