Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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