I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
