You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
