I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
