you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
