oh god the rape fog is back!
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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