turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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