So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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