this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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