We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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