"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
