go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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