why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
