ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
