If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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