You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
