Whod you bang
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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