is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
