he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
